A little bit of everything

Having a hard time knowing where to begin with this blog……… so I just wrote exactly what popped into my head so if it doesn’t make sense that is why

You never really are fully prepared to handle when someone dies…..no matter how much advance notice you get.

I am just realizing now how scared I am….I think that I we have been so busy with life that I haven’t really thought hey, Shawn’s mom really is going to be gone. I don’t think I have really come to the realization that this is reality.

Carly has been so sick with a cold she has such an awful cough…scares the crap out of you sometimes I didn’t think that someone so little could get such a HUGE adult cough. I now understand what mom’s feel like when their kids are sick. You want to be able to take it all away and get them better. I didn’t sleep very well constantly checking the crib to see if she was alright. She is doing much better now still has her cough but it is WAY better.

We moved Shawn’s mom out of her apartment thanks to my family we got it done fairly quickly. So SAD. It was hard very emotional. I just wanted to curl up into a ball and weep.

I kept thinking so this is what it comes to…our time on earth. We work so hard at getting ahead just to smack right into a wall at the end. It makes me appreciate the little things.

TIME! We don’t have much time, instead of missing out on fun things because we are working or to tired or doing laundry etc etc. I need to focus on the people that matter the most. Memories with people you love are far more important than the things that I own.

I feel like I have been a pretty bad friend lately, I have not really kept in touch with anyone. I am not sure what it is but staying at home all warm and cozy has seemed to feel more safe than anything. It is like when I go outside reality hits…..Like oh man here we go what can happen next…..crazy I know but its how I think sometimes.

I have promised myself that I will be a better friend. To catch up with those I love because I realize now that is what we need more than ever.

I have a great family. My mom and dad do everything for Shawn and I. I am so blessed to have them. I am so thankful that they are so great, don’t think Shawn and I could do it without them!! Also my brother and his family as well…..everyone is so understanding and willing to jump in and help whenever. Being surrounded by family gives me the same feeling I have on Christmas morning…….I love it. There is nothing better!!!

I come from a BIG Family…..just recently I unfortunately had to attend my Grannie’s funeral it was SO hard but having my LARGE and by large I mean HUGE family there and seeing everyone again was a blast. I know that Grannie would have loved it. I know that she DID love it watching all of us together.

Anyway, this is getting so long…… I am impressed if you are still reading till this point as I often ramble and things don’t often make sense…… but yeah

This is all I have for now……

Until next blog…….