I have decided that I should join the blogging world. I am not sure if anyone will ever read my blog but I though it would be a good way to get my thoughts out of my head so they aren't driving me nuts!
Life right now is crazy.
We have a foster daughter. She is four months old on the 25th of August. She is the most beautiful little girl. She smiles and laughs and plays all day long. We are so blessed to be able to care for this little girl. On a daily basis I realize that she is the one blessing us not us blessing her.
This is my delema though, surley God knows what he is doing. I know that he called Shawn and I to care after this amazing little lady. I feel like this is the first time I have heard God in a long time and I know that this is what we are supposed to do. The hardest part though is trusting that he will help protect our hearts.
To have to give this little girl back to her 16 year old mother at the end of all of this is going to break me. I know that we were called to do this even if it was just for a short time. I know that God has a plan in it all but how do you just hand over a baby that you know you are better suited and prepared to look after than her mother.
Although in my heart of hearts I want her mother to grow up and get her stuff together, there is a part of my wishing she would fail for at least just three or four more months. If that was the case the court would give Shawn and I the option to adopt Carly and we would.
I knew what we were getting ourseleves into and I know that chances are we will probably be handing Carly back to her mom after three months but I can dream right.
GOD HAS A PLAN. GOD HAS A PLAN. This thought runs through my head all day every day.
I need to learn to be grateful for the time we have right now. TODAY. Stop looking ahead and start looking at the fact that we have her for now. I want to teach her as much as I can in three months. Teaching her is fun and rewarding. Since we have had her she has started rolling over. What a trip. Watching babies. They are so RAD!
Wow, not sure I am so good at this blogging thing. I don't finish my thougts very well. Must be the ADD.
Since I have been at work for you know an hour now and not done one stitch of work I ought to go and do that.
Until next time...
Well I will read your blog AND I will pray like crazy that you will be Carly's adoptive mom. She will always have a birth mom who may be able to love her one day, but teenage motherhood is not for the faint of heart and you guys will be awesome!
ReplyDeleteI pray every day for the three of you. Sometimes "God's will be done" is a tough one. Will you become the parents? Will you have to give Carly back? Will the Mom be able to look after her? What does Carly want? How could she know? My biggest worry after wanting the best for Carly, are your hearts if she goes back to her Mom. As you can tell, you are in my heart, my head and my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI love that you are going to have a blog. I will watch for new entries.
I love you,
Auntie Jean
I have been praying for you guys about this since you told me she was coming to live with you. I knew it would be hard - will be hard. I am praying with you that God would guard your hearts. We've thought about foster care before, and one of the only things that holds me back is that I don't know if I could handle it. You know my fragile sanity. But, God made you an incredibly strong woman. Whatever is coming your way - God already knows it and knows that "you can do all things through HIM who gives you strength."/
ReplyDeleteWe had already begun praying in this household even before we knew some of the details. And, we will continue to do so.
ReplyDeleteYeah ! I'm so glad you have a blog ! I will pray be praying for you guys ! Your an amazing person, always have been, Carly is so lucky ! I know you will handle whatever God gives you!
ReplyDeleteLOVE YOU SO MUCH MY DEAR FRIEND !