No Faith in the System

I have to say that our world is a sad place.

Most of my posts ends up being mostly about Carly but that's all that is really going on in my life.

How can a service that is set up to protect our children be so harmful on them instead. How is it possible that Child and Family Services can forget about the child we are trying to protect. I am blown away that I can call our Social Worker and I know more information about the case than she does.

I have had visitations cancelled and rescheduled and cancelled and rescheduled all at the convience of the mother of the child who she abandoned in the first place. As far as I am concerned if it was my child that had been taken away and I really truly wanted to get her back I would be bending over backwards to do anything I could to see her whenever I could.

When did the system turn from helping the child in need to helping the parent in question. I realise that they need help the mother too but shouldn't priority # 1 be the 5 month old child who never asked to be brought into this world but was and now is placed smack dab in the middle of a really really shitty situation. (Sorry for the curse but shitty is the only way to describe this situation.)

How can we forget her? Who is the voice for this child.

I am sick to death watching Carly go to visitation after visitation coming home a wreck. She does not eat, sleep, smile or laugh. (If you have met her she is the happiest most content kid in the world otherwise) She sits and stares like a zombie for hours afterwords. She is so confused that she is making herself physically ill.

Where does it all end for her? I can't even begin to imagine what she must feel inside. I know she is only 5 months but I feel like she has more life experience than me.

The REALLY sad part about this is this in only one of thousands of kids who do this everyday and a lot of them know exactly what is going on.

How many times do we need to watch on the news about another case of child abuse or child neglect before our Government will step in and do something about this. My heart breaks for all the innocent children who get dealt a crappy hand at life. How many of them get lost in the shuffle?

God sure has put my faith to the test with this one. There really is nothing that we can do but pray. I pray all day everyday that God will give this little beauty a place where she can finally relax and be herself. I wish I could take this all away from her.

My Heart Hurts for Carly.......what more can we do without Shawn and I looking like the bad guys......

At the end of the day though, I have been blessed more than I could have ever imagined by this little child when she smiles I get a glipse of what heaven will be like

Pictures of Carly

Big Brother

I have to admit to you all that I have been addicted to Big Brother this season. I have watched on and off over the years that it has been on air but I have never gotten so into it.

I am going to place the blame on my mother in law. I actually started getting into the show because my mother in law would always talk to me about it. She knew that I didn't watch the show but she would talk to me about these people like they were apart of my life.

So being the good daughter in law that I am, (instead of just nodding my head and smiling like I do when she talks to me about her soap operas) I decided I would watch so I could discuss with her.

I am hooked.

I am hooked on this completely ridculus show with people would no doubt stab eachother in the back for 1/2 million dollars.

I am now beginning to think that I could actually do fairly well at it. Not because I have a habbit of stabbing people in the back, but just because I think I could fly under the radar (Ha me fly under the radar wishful thinking right) I don't think I would be able to keep my big mouth shut!

My collegue and I often discuss if our work place was the big brother house who would go first and who would we vote off. Is it bad for me to constantly be thinking how can I futher myself in the game when really I am not playing the game........

Anyways not really sure why I decided to write all of this other than I feel a little pathetic about my Big Brother addiction but it sure has made my mother in law happy and every married women knows, if you can make your mother in law happy than life gets a little easier haahaa.

bye for now.

ps. its the final show tonight so if you want to see who wins!!!! Watch!

Update on Carly

I am quickly realizing what a long road we have ahead of ourselves.

Carly is doing great just getting over a cold but growing fast. She has started rolling over all the time and is now eating vegetables instead of just a bottle.

We had a fantastic weekend out a Falcon Lake with my parents and with my brothers family. We went fishing and for walks and had bonfires it was a great family get together and Carly sure does fit in. I am pretty sure I only got to hold her like three times in the last four days. My nephew Nic is IN LOVE with Carly he is constantly telling people she is "My Baby Carly", and giving her kisses and hugs (Although he still needs to understand that she is only 1/3 his size, so barrel rolling over her while she is lying on the carpet is not such a good idea) but he sure does love her.

For the past two weeks Carly's birth mother has been having visitation. These meeting are for 5 hours 2 times a week. Although they are good for the mother I am noticing how stressful they are on Carly. When she comes home from them she is restless she won't eat, she won't sleep and she won't even smile. If you know Carly all she does is smile.

I never would have imagined the stress that these visits could put on a now four month old child. Crazy how they can read our emotions. This is such a learning experience for Shawn and I. I think we will be forever aware of how our emotions can affect our Children (Future Children).

This past weekend Carly's mom went A-Wall again. They could not find her and when they did they realized just how bad her drug addiction is. Although I can truly say I am so sad for her and would really like her to be/get healthy I see just another example of why Shawn and I are better candidates as parents.

Please pray that Child and Family Services will see this and push this case through the system even faster. I am concerned for the safety of Carly if we don't end up with her. The system is very odd and I have heard horror story after horror story about it but I am keeping the faith that God has everything in control and he knows what he is doing.

Thank you for all your prayers. We are so grateful knowing that people are praying for us and are behind us.

Also if you could please pray for the birth mother that she would see the opportunity this is for her to get better and what an opportunity her child has to have a great home to grow up in with us.

Thanks again.

Until next time <><